The bad news is that I have decided to discontinue writing this blog.
The good news (I hope) is that I have only decided to discontinue writing this blog on WordPress.
If you would like to continue reading my thoughts, half-baked as they are, I would be very happy indeed to see you over on Substack here.
My reason for leaving WordPress is money, or lack thereof. Up till now, I have paid WordPress for the Sehnsucht and Wine domain name. In the past I had kind of forgotten this because I had the money to make the payment and forget about it afterwards. Now, though, I no longer have the money so it is a bit of an issue.
I don’t know why I ever paid WordPress anything as I have only ever used the ‘free’ URL name (sehnsuchtandwine.wordpress.com) rather than paid one (sehnsuchtandwine.com). But maybe I was using the latter and didn’t realise it. I don’t know, and really, it doesn’t matter: I can’t pay for it now and that’s it. As a result, WordPress will delete the blog by the end of April.
I will be sorry to say goodbye to this blog. It has been a good friend to me for the last seven or so years, but I am happy to continue on at Substack where I will not have to worry about paying for URLs or whatever. All my posts there, by the way, will be free.
Speaking of posts: when this blog deletes, I will lose all the posts here. I have tried to download them but it didn’t work. That’s okay, though: I manually saved the one series that I really wanted to keep; namely, my Camino diary posts. As I want to keep them on the internet, I will be reposting them to my new Substack page over the next six or so weeks as I commemorate the seventh anniversary of my 2019 Camino Francés pilgrimage.
So, goodbye to the old and hello to the new. I look forward to seeing you on Substack.
Hello from this bench in Gibson Square, just off Upper Street in Islington. I love the benches that have inscriptions on them, usually dedications to deceased friends or families and this one most of all. The dedication reads:
Thomas Jeremy Willoughby OBE 3/06/1948 – 8/06/2006
Amor, che so sente nel cupre, piu che nei sensi. La Cenerentola de Rossini. Malik.
Google Translate translates the Italian as follows: Love, which I know is felt in the heart, more than in the senses.
La Cenerentola is Cinderella an opera by, as you can see above, Rossini.
As it happens, this bench isn’t the first with a dedication to Thomas Willoughby by Malik to occupy this spot. The previous dedication read:
I need you here with me today. Love is lonely without you. Malik
The message is raw and unrestrained, reflecting no doubt Malik’s pain at losing his beloved. It’s interesting that the current dedication is a very refined one, as if Malik has had time to process Jeremy’s death and is able now to approach it in a more elevated way.
I miss the passion and heart-laid-bare of the original dedication; it’s what made me like the bench so much to begin with. But if the current one means that Malik has grown in his grief, found new ways to express it, found the way to reach new heights in the depths of his sadness, then that can only be a good thing. I pray for Jeremy Willoughby’s soul and for Malik that he may always be transformed positivity by his love for Jeremy.
Well, this post was meant to just be an opening to what I meant to talk about (especially since I’m sure I’ve talked about this bench before) but I feel that what I have written above is enough. I’ll come back to the rest of what I meant to say in the next post.
Another day, another Instagram/Facebook reel that looks too good to be true. How can I tell if it is AI? asks a comment.
A good question. AI videos have only become popular in the last two or three years and are already nearly impossible to distinguish from real ones.
I had a few minutes so I thought I would contribute what I’ve learnt. And since I have a few minutes more, I thought I would add them here in case they were helpful for you.
Check the relevant account’s description, hashtags, and bio. Ethical users of creative AI videos mention there that the video is AI generated
Listen to the voices in the video. If they sound metallic, they are probably AI generated
Look at the texture of the video, especially the people and animals. I don’t know if there is any AI platform that can perfectly replicate human or animal bodies yet but there are definitely some that can’t. As a result they make them look too smooth
When you watch a video ask yourself if the action you are seeing is realistic. For example, do cats/dogs/etc behave in this way (or are they likely to)? If it seems unlikely that they would then the video may be AI
If the video is telling a news worthy story, google it. If you are unable to find it then that is an indication that the video is fake. For example, the video I saw today that inspired my comment and this post showed a woman running into the sea as a dolphin swam excitedly towards her. The headline was “A dolphin meets the woman saved him from fishing nets some time ago”. I googled “woman meets dolphin she rescued” and only found the same video elsewhere on Instagram and Facebook. A feel good story like this would surely attract attention from the media – if it were real
Finally, take a screenshot of the video and give it to one of the AI detector websites and see what it says. For the dolphin video, I used sightengine.com and it came back with a 92% chance of it being AI.
I’m not an AI expert. Indeed, my tech skills may generously be described as limited. The above is simply what I’ve learned over the last couple years. Hopefully, it is helpful.
In an ideal world (so it probably won’t happen) AI generation companies would be obliged to ensure that all their content is marked as such. Unmarked AI content is the most pernicious thing I can think of that has come to the internet. In its fakeness, it deceives and in doing so it becomes a tool to gain power and control over the user: a tool for bad actors, individuals, groups, and – here is the big problem – states. For them it is a weapon that can cause very great harm.
***
As a coda to my list, I will add that you really need to be on your guard with online videos now. It was only in writing this post that I realised that the description attached to the dolphin video mentioned above contains a paragraph on how replies to the video (from wherever it was sourced) contained scepticism over whether it was real or not. The paragraph didn’t say whether the video was real or fake, which it should have, but at least it referred to the possibility. When we scroll, we like to drift from one video to the next to the next without thinking about the veracity or otherwise of what we are seeing. Those days need to end.
It’s Friday, 13th March 2026 and America and Israel continue to bomb targets in Iran with no end in sight. A few days ago I saw Donald Trump quoted as saying that the war was nearing its end but any truth that was in these words seem to have died upon his lips. For its part, Iran continues to bomb enemy targets in the Middle-East and mediterranean region.
It would be wonderful if Friday the thirteenth’s reputation for being an unlucky day could be overturned by a ceasefire agreement, or, even better, a permanent end to hostilities, but that won’t happen.
Sooner or later, though, the fighting will end, and when it does, what will the political situation in Iran look like?
I know I’m looking at what is happening from afar and with no expertise but it does seem to me that all the US-Israeli attacks are doing is degrading Iran’s infrastructure. In my view, the only thing that would in any sense justify this war is a fight to destroy the regime and replace it with something better. As a result, when the last bomb or missile has fallen, the current awful regime will emerge from its foxholes and pick up from where it left off. Except that, the level of hatred that the regime feels towards the West will be even deeper and, in the worst case scenario, lead to a return of Iranian sponsored terrorism against the West that has been unseen since the 80s.
What makes this possibility all the more galling is that the US government seems to have made no attempt to plan for the peace. It and Israel saw an opportunity to take out Ali Khamenei and start bombing Iran’s infrastructure and went for it with no consideration for the aftermath. At least George W. Bush made some attempt to restore democracy to Afghanistan and Iraq (even if it was a very cack handed one).
Donald Trump has called for the Iranian people to rise up but they won’t do that while bombs are exploding all around them, and how far will they get when faced with well armed and organised soldiers? Precisely nowhere.
In short, this feels like a very nihilistic war. Destruction because we want and because we can. That’s how it feels. I know it’s a bit more than that. Israel has very good reason to want to see Iran at least degraded to the point where she is no longer an existential threat but again it really feels like she is going about this pre-emptive action in as wrong a way as possible. As a result, she is creating a debt that Jewish people around the world will be paying for, for years to come.
This is my complaint. But complaints with solutions can be very tiresome. What would I have done? Well, I certainly would have waited until I had solid evidence that Iran posed a threat to my country and allies. Maybe America and Israel have such evidence. They need to show it if so. I know absence of evidence isn’t evidence of absence but it does make it rather hard – i.e. impossible – to support them without seeing it. I would also have liaised with as many allies as possible before launching the attacks. Ideally, we would attack together. But if we didn’t, at least they would know why I am doing so. I would also work into my strategy ways to arm opponents of the Iranian regime. I’ll be honest, though, I don’t know how I would do this. Those are just a few thoughts. Let’s see what happens next.
Iran will rise again, but whose bloodied hand will rise first out of the ruins?
In 1989 I saw the John Hughes film Some Kind of Wonderful for the first time. My life was never the same again. I fell in love with Keith Nelson’s (Eric Stolz) tomboy friend Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) and have been trying to write a story with a tomboy character in it ever since. I say ‘a’ deliberately as it has indeed been the same one.
Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) ❤
Despite my enduring love of Watts and the film, it took me to the end of last year/the beginning of this one to read the novelisation of Some Kind of Wonderful. Written by David Bischoff (1951-2018) it is a faithful adaptation of the picture. It was an interesting read. As you might expect, it includes some extra scenes and extra details about the characters that help us to understand both them and their background that little bit better. One of Keith’s favourite books, it turns out, is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Watts’ first name (never revealed in the film) is Susan, and she lives with her brother Ned: her mother died five years ago and her father is missing – lost, perhaps, in his grief.
The book also features one or two changes to the film that ever since have made me wonder ‘why?’. I am thinking in particular of the scene when Watts and Keith arrive at school. In both film and book their passage is blocked by Duncan the skinhead. He will become a friend later, but now, he is looking for trouble. Keith is wise to this, and manages to persuade Duncan to let him pass by… speaking French. Presumably the skinhead is a known francophile. Well, why not. Watts is not minded to indulge him and she approaches Duncan with hostility. He returns it by asking her how long she has been a lesbian – she ‘has a little much up front to be a guy so must be a lesbian.’ Neither Watts nor Duncan backs down in this confrontation and it only ends when a teacher arrives to break it up.
In the book, Duncan says to Watts, “How long have you been a tomboy?”. The book continues, “Keith was surprised to see Watt’s [sic] face turn ashen.” A teacher then arrives to break the two sides up.
Keith (Eric Stolz)
What has been on my mind is this: (a) why did Bischoff change Duncan’s question from ‘lesbian’ to ‘tomboy’ and (b) why, in the book, is Watts so upset at being called a tomboy?
Well, first of all, I have to recognise that it may not have been Bischoff’s choice. May be he was told to change it or maybe the book is based on an earlier version of John Hughes’ script in which ‘tomboy’ was used in preference to ‘lesbian’.
It can’t be because the book was aimed at teenagers and in the 80s references to queer people in young adult (as we would describe them now) books was frowned upon. The fact that ‘lesbian’ is used in the film surely argues against that.
Perhaps Bischoff (or whoever) felt that Duncan calling her a tomboy had more force, though I can’t believe this is the answer. Thinking back to the 80s, I don’t recall that being called a tomboy was a particularly bad thing. To be called gay, however, could be bad news, really bad news. Okay, boys/men surely had it worse but I doubt girls or women had it easy. I know in our male oriented western society we have found lesbian relationships more acceptable than gay ones, but still. I wish I knew more about this.
And what about Watts’s ashen face? She can’t be embarrassed about her appearance as we are told earlier that she chose her tomboy look. Is she scared of Duncan? There is no indication that this is so (why would she have chosen to face him down if so). On this point, I can only imagine that I am missing something in the story. I wish I knew what.
I said that the novelisation of Some Kind of Wonderful builds upon the film. It also omits one of my favourite moments from the film: Watts plays a game of dice with the waiters at the fancy restaurant. At the climax of the game, facing the loss of their bets to her, one of the waiters says to his friends, “In order to win big, you gotta do what? Lose big! And what are we doing?” They all say together, “Losing big!”.
The book has other quirks – characters say the word ‘cripes’ several times, which takes me away from an 80s Los Angeles school to any children’s story set in England in the 1950s – but was a lovely read nonetheless.
My only regret is that when I first watched Some Kind of Wonderful, I was Keith and Watts’ age. Now, however, I am Mr. Nelson’s, and getting older. If I was offered the chance to be 18 again, I wouldn’t take it (I have received many blessings in my adult life) but I do wish someone had written follow ups – many follow ups – to this story. I would have loved to have read the story of Watts’ and Keith’s life as they got older alongside me. Keith is the one character in film that I have felt, “That’s me”, and Watts, she’s the woman I wish I could have met and married.
Keith and Watts Reunited in 2012
images I found all the above images on Pinterest and saved them to my Pinterest page* (@ sehnsuchtandwine). As you can see above, Eric Stolz and Mary Stuart Masterson got together again in 2012 to talk about the film. Read the interview here.
*well, the first and third pictures. I can’t find the one of Keith now. I will add it as soon as I do
After leaving the Harlequin pub, I got home safe and sound. After doing so, I had some washing up to do and during this I realised I realised I had forgotten to buy some bananas and oranges from the corner shop on my way back. Not wanting to go without tomorrow, or rather, today, I finished the dishes, put them away and dashed back out to said corner shop.
I often use this corner ship and am friendly with the owners. While I was there last night, one of them was talking to his grand daughter via FaceTime (or similar) on his phone. He must have told her he was serving someone because she said hello! He turned the phone round and I got to say hello back.
It was a lovely moment, and the icing on the cake of a great afternoon. And, do you know what, it contained within itself just as much joy as a whole afternoon with Jim. This is not to denigrate him but to elevate how even brief encounters can be as special as long ones.
this photograph of Shakespeare, taken by myself in the City of London last year has nothing to do with the post. I just like having photos with each post and chose this one for this one, if you see what I mean
At 1:30pm I met my friend Jim in the pub. We hadn’t seen each other for ages so had lots to catch up on. Lots of our conversation was the nonsense that deepens a friendship, some of it was serious.
We left each other somewhere after 5:30pm so it was a good session. I began my journey home but I had made a critical mistake: I didn’t go to the toilet before leaving the pub!
I think I could have made it home but why risk it. Why, indeed, suffer an unnecessarily uncomfortable journey when there was something to be done; namely, pop into another pub on the way and buy a drink so that I could use their toilet without feeling bad.
And so I did. I didn’t buy alcohol, though, I had more than enough of that for the day. Instead, I bought the little coke that you see in the photo above.
As I write these words, I am in the Harlequin pub on Arlington Way, behind Sadler’s Wells theatre. I used to come here more often, but then the ownership changed and it just wasn’t the same.
Looking around, the tables are smaller and smarter, they also have the nice little lights that you can see above. The toilets are just as tight, they really are, but the bar looks more or less the same. The big TV has gone and we have loud-ish but nice lounge music – different from ye olde days. I won’t stay long as tea awaits me at home but it has been nice to come back here again.
As I finish my coca cola off I wonder when or even if I will ever come back here again. Am I walking in the steps of an old memory or creating a new one that will draw me back on a future day? Time will tell.
Right, my drink is nearly done.
Time to go. Time for the future after this diversion to the past! It has been pleasant even if fleeting. Here goes.
PS I hope this post makes sense. I have been correcting my awful typing as I have written it!
Beyond those who benefitted from his patronage, I doubt that there will be many people who will lament the sudden end to Nicolás Maduro’s corrupt rule over Venezuela.
There are many, however, myself included, who are not convinced that the American special forces raid, which plucked Maduro from Caracas and transported him to the USA to be put on trial for ‘narco-terrorism’ last Saturday was legitimate and amounts to anything more than an act of kidnapping.
As far as I have been able to tell, the USA did not seek any mandate under international law to seize Maduro. That he was wanted in America was not enough to justify his kidnap and detention in America.
The USA will get away with its illegal actions because (a) It is a powerful nation and the principle of ‘might is right’ still applies in international relations, and (b) Maduro was a corrupt ruler so has no one to fight for him. To be sure, both Russia and China have condemned America’s actions, but I can’t imagine that they will take the matter much further. What I could imagine them doing, despite their words of condemnation, is using America’s actions as a precedent for actions of their own. I hope Lai Ching-te, president of Taiwan, has better security than Maduro did.
Thus far, I’ve only spoken about ‘America’ and the ‘the USA’. Maduro’s kidnap and illegal detention, however, was authorised by one person only: Donald Trump. He now has a new crime to add to his already long record. He won’t care, of course, but what of his allies and supporters?
As for his allies, well, Keir Starmer was interviewed on Saturday about the kidnap and as the BBC says ‘refused to be drawn on whether or not US President Donald Trump’s military action against Venezuela may have broken international law.’
In the absence of any evidence to the contrary, I obviously believe Trump did break the law but since I represent no one but myself it is easy for me to say so. Starmer has a more difficult job. As Prime Minister, he represents the UK. America is a powerful country, more powerful than Britain. Starmer could speak out and condemn Trump’s actions, but if he did, he would risk the UK being damaged by the more powerful and vengeful Trump. It all stinks, of course, but this is the world we live in.
I feel sorry for Starmer, as I do for all politicians who are faced with the dilemma of saying what they know to be true and right vs. keeping their country safe. As a result, I am not hoping or waiting for any of them to condemn the US President. What I do hope for, however, is to see Trump’s MAGA supporters denounce him. Their words are worth far more than any politicians since it is they who put Trump in power and they who can do most to harm him politically, to the point of making him the lamest of lame ducks. On that point, I have heard reference made to MAGAists being unhappy at Trump’s abandonment of the isolationist ‘America First’ principle, but not much else. Unless there is more happening that I don’t know about, this is disappointing but not surprising. In my view, the only thing that will turn the MAGA movement away from Trump is economic failure.
And so, what I predict will happen is that this story will blow over. Maduro will be charged and convicted. Unless he drops dead of natural causes or is pushed under the proverbial bus, Trump will continue his baleful presidency. The world will continue, and the next time a powerful ruler decides to punch down, he will find it much easier to do so. Speaking of which, how will Trump treat Venezuela? I presume he didn’t remove Maduro just to let the latter’s replacement continue on the same course. But how naked will his interference be? If his principle interest is in the country’s oil reserves I guess he will not hold back. Time will tell.
image the us and venezuelan flags: adapted from two separate images on pinterest
Last weekend, WWE legend John Cena fought his last ever wrestling match. It took place at the Capital One Arena in Washington D. C. against Walther ‘Gunther’ Hahn. Gunther won after locking Cena into a sleeper hold and forcing him to tap out before he fell unconscious (Yes, I know that WWE matches are scripted and Cena was never in any physical danger). Boos filled the Arena afterwards. They wanted to see Cena go out on a high. When Paul ‘Triple H’ Levesque, the WWE’s Chief Content Officer (CCO), came to the ring to congratulate Cena on his storied career, fans in the arena booed and swore at him.
I haven’t seen any interviews with fans who booed to find out why they did so but you can bet it was (a) because they wanted Cena to win and end his career on a high, and (b) because he lost in such a weak way. For a wrestler, tapping out to a sleeper hold is about as unheroic a defeat as you can imagine.
However, while I get these reasons, I have to say that the more I think about what happened the more impressed I am by Triple H’s booking of the match (As the WWE’s CCO, he decides who wins and loses the matches). Cena didn’t need to win the match. Doing so would have added nothing to his star. He long ago transcended mere match victories and belts (though they kept coming to him almost to the end). Far better for him to put Gunther ‘over’ as the WWE’s new arch-heel.
But wouldn’t it have been better for him to at least die a fighter’s death? To go out in a blaze of glory? Well, yes, unless… or rather, except, there is more than one way for a fighter to die nobly. The obvious way is in a blaze of glory. The other is to accept that death is coming and acquiesce to it. This turns the defeat into a triumph. Recall how Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars, once he sees Luke, Han and Princess Leia racing towards the Millennium Falcon, stops fighting Darth Vader and allows the Dark Lord to strike him down. He does this because he knows he has now fulfilled his destiny in the struggle against the Empire; he has played his part; it is now for the young heroes to continue the fight. Had he tried to escape, Luke and co. would have continued to rely on him, to the detriment of their growth and the rebellion’s success. As for Kenobi so for John Cena. As he lies in the sleeper hold, he knows that he has fulfilled his destiny (to get Gunther over as a heel); he has played his part; it is now for others to continue the fight against Gunther’s malign reign. Had he won, he would have kept the other WWE superstars in his shade to the detriment of theirs and the WWE’s growth. Cena’s knowledge that he’s doing the right thing is why before tapping out we don’t see him struggle, but rather, smile.
He is at peace with his decision, and at peace with his figurative death. In Star Wars, of course, Obi Wan’s last action is also to smile. When you are at peace with what yourself nothing, not even impending death, can disturb you.
Screenshot
In the last few days, Cena has been interviewed about last weekend’s match. I don’t know what he has said but I hope very much that his defeat, and the manner in which it happened, was deliberate and along the lines I have described above. Triple H and The WWE’s creative team get a lot of stick from fans regarding their story telling, it would be good if we could say well done to them for a really quite profound piece of writing.
Mea culpa. I got it wrong. In my last post I said that C. S. Lewis was born on 22nd November 1898 and died on the 29th. In fact, it is the other way round. Serves me right for writing tired and on my phone (which requires that bit more effort to go from the WordPress app to Safari’s search field). Guess what, though; I’m doing it again tonight. However, my phone is my writing lifeline at the moment so it is this or nothing.
This weekend I continued to read C. S. Lewis remembered. In a way, I feel a little ashamed at the current direction of my interest in Lewis. As I mentioned on Friday, I want to learn about him rather than his books. Something Owen Barfield says in the interview that kicks off Remembered, though, convinces me that bit more that Lewis would not have approved. And I continue to feel out of my league; that, had we lived at the same time, we would never have been friends.
But hey, MJM, why do you worry about what might have happened had you lived at the same time as him? You didn’t. You don’t. It was not ordained to happen that way. What was ordained is that you have in him a heavenly friend, and trust, whatever may – may – have held you both back from each other in life does not, will not now that he is in heaven. Continue with your private devotion to CSL, and be don’t be surprised at the answered prayers that come your way.
In fact, look for little signs. Thérèse sends her flowers; Lewis sends his… keep praying and find out.
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Dear reader, I apologise for the last two paragraphs. They are really a spiritual pep talk to myself. I didn’t expect to write it. Before I started writing, I thought I would start with Lewis but then go on to talk about other things. Well, I think I will stop here: the pep talk has surprised me, especially the idea that Lewis might leave a sign of having heard/answered my prayer. God is good that he allows such things to happen.
Sehnsucht and Wine 